Saturday, August 04, 2007

15 Ways To Annoy Your Friends Who Love Harry Potter

-1- Call Professor Dumbledor "Professor Dum Dum"

-2- Suggest that in a duel. Samantha Stevens from "Bewitched" would kick Harry's ass.

-3- Confuse the Lord of the Rings Trilogy details with those of the Harry Potter series of books repeatedly by saying things like: "Remember when Gandalf and Voldemort were fighting and the Orcs took over the Hogwartz School of Wizzardry in the Town of Rivendale?"

-4- Wonder out loud to your friends if Harry Potter was not in fact the secret love child of Colonel Sherman Potter and Hot Lips Houlihan from the TV series M.A.S.H.

-5- Suggest to your friends that Harry should consider a line of Prada eyewear instead of those horrid horrid round glasses.

-6- Tell your friends that if Weezie Jefferson married Ron Weasly her name would have been "Weezie Weasly".

-7- Inform your friends that "muggles" are what Fraggles drink beer from.

-8- Whenever speaking about Harry, refer to him as "Mr. Pot-Tare" the way Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington did in the TV Series "Welcome Back Kotter"

-9- Suggest that Andi McDowell would have made a better Voldemort than Ray Fiennes.
-10- Refer to the author, J K Rowling as "J J Walker" and tell people you think she is "Dyno-Mite!"

-11- Repeat every 15 minutes to your friends that "Hermione rhymes with 'hiney' "

-12- Insist to your friends that you saw the actor who plays Professor Dumbldor on a TV infomercial for Viagra, talking about his "limp wand" problem.

-13- Tell your friends that Quiddich is not a real sport, like golf, NASCAR, horse racing, bowling and poker.

-14- Wonder out loud to your friends where Harry takes his invisibility cloak to be dry cleaned.

-15- Order the last Harry Potter book UPS ground and then when it finally DOES arrive, read only a few pages per day.

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